Fuck Magazine

letter to+from editor

(does not appear in print zine)

Dear Fucker,

You didn’t know when you started this that “fuck cars” might as well be “fuck everything in our entire built world.” You thought you’d have some positive pieces about how people enjoy cars. There was that Jalopnik.com editor who agrees that car commuting sucks and that cars significantly contribute to climate change (true and true), but he loves driving. His view was nice. Also, people who live in their cars. You have friends who choose this lifestyle, leaving behind the whole real estate game and living free. You envied them. But by the end of this research, you’re like, “fuck that; fuck everything”?

Now you see the Jalopnik guy on a spectrum: he on one end and on the other, men who literally fuck their cars. Somewhere in the middle: Italian futurists who wanted to glorify war, “the world’s only hygiene.” Cars are a total power trip for fascists. And as for living free on the open road? What freedom exists out there is only possible through massive road-building projects funded at the expense of other forms of transit, forms which better fit dense, urban areas. It is the desire for such freedom (on a national scale) that keeps us running from each other, makes us distrustful, self-centered assholes. You actually found empirical evidence to support this.

But then you thought self-driving cars could fix some of these problems. Aha! The future! But you only found people making ludicrous predictions about what a driverless future would look like. None of it added up. But worse, no one claims driverless cars can address the political problems that driverful cars cause. In fact, they just make the situation worse, fucking up cities and isolating people.

Once you started looking for all the space cars take up, you couldn’t stop. Parking lots stretch out forever, everywhere. A block from you, a line of three car dealerships occupy a half-mile of road. To get to your favorite pizza place, you walk over 11 lanes of highway. The parking garage in your apartment building sits mostly empty most of the time, each unoccupied space adding to your rent...

Just don’t get too preachy, fucker. You own a car. But you don’t drive it very much, right? Like, you try to make this seem noble, like you’re part of the good fight, but really it just means you are a car-driving elite and also a privileged urbanite who affords to go without. An asshole two ways. So take it easy, alright?

With love,
Yourself


ISS2:FUCKCARS


Cat Trapped in Car Engine

front cover

This picture is taken from some local news thing. Cat climbed into the car for warmth. Driver started the car. Cat wailed. Driver killed the engine (saved the cat). And local news cashed in. Some extra reporting for context: “[this shit happens all the time]”


Man on Fire in Wreckage

back cover

David Earl Savage, 1973. He survived this. He was, like, gonna make it. But he died 33 days after, likely from a transfusion of contaminated plasma. So the crash didn’t kill him, but it kind of did? But another guy did die that day at the track. While Savage burned, some random pit crew dude, Armando Teran, ran out to try to help. A fire truck, also on its way to help (doing 60 mph opposite the normal flow of traffic), hit Teran. NASCAR: bring the whole family!

FUCK CARS.


findfuckcars

You can find copies of FUCK CARS around Seattle. Follow FUCK on Snapchat (@fuckzine.net) to keep up with distribution.

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Also. I guess you can have the thing delivered to a mailbox. Pay what you feel like paying. Whatever money I make goes into producing more FUCK.